NEW YORK—New York Times executive editor Joe Kahn walked into the office this Tuesday to find a $40 million lawsuit sitting on his desk, a culmination of the recent controversy surrounding the publication’s daily “Connections” game.
The lawsuit originated after the plaintiff, Isaac Atwords, threw his phone at a brick wall after failing to guess the game’s categories for one too many days in a row. “‘Sue them,’ my friend said,” Atwords recalled after noting that the categories of the game were “simply unfair.” “And I thought, that’s not such a bad idea.”
The lawsuit came as a shock to Wyna Liu, the editor at the Times who builds the “Connections” puzzle each day. “I thought that a category labeled ‘four completely unrelated items’ was reasonable,” she remarked, “but I guess not everyone felt the same way.”
The plaintiff will be suing for a new iPhone—his shattered when he threw it—and an additional $40 million in “emotional damages.”
“The treatment of my client is completely unacceptable,” said Lawrence Suit, Atwords’ attorney. “The defendant’s suggestion that my client should stop playing the ‘Connections’ puzzle if it angers him is wholly insensitive and unprofessional.”
“I would’ve been fine to settle for a new phone,” Atwords confessed. “But when Ms. Liu attempted to convince me to spend my mornings without my beloved ‘Connections,’ I broke down in tears. That is when the emotional damage occurred.”
Atwords’ attorney stated that he hopes the lawsuit provides a beacon of hope, allowing “others who have been abused by the puzzle to speak out about their own victimhood.
“It’s a disgrace to journalism, to entertainment, and to sportsmanship,” said Kahn of the lawsuit. “We at the New York Times toil endlessly to ruin your morning each day—you don’t understand how hard the work is. The least you can do is be grateful for our efforts.”
It looks as though Suit’s prediction is gaining traction. The hashtag “#Istandwithconnectionsvictims” is currently trending on X—formerly known as Twitter—and has resulted in countless others posting their own stories. Some have threatened to join in on the lawsuit, including seventeen-year-old Ineeda Newhobby of Montana and an anonymous user known only by the username @I_now_prefer_wordle, both of whose cellphones shared the fate of Atwords’ phone after the most recent puzzle.
Newhobby remarked, “It’s disgraceful of them to make such a difficult game and then suggest that I quit. It’s my favorite game, and if I wanted to be challenged, I would actually do my work during class instead of playing ‘Connections’ during it.”
She added, “It’s like an abusive relationship. Wyna Liu completely ruins my day each morning, and yet I can’t get enough. I know I’ll always be back the next day.”
Other titans of the industry are becoming nervous that the lawsuit could create a ripple effect, reported a Washington Post official who wished to remain anonymous. Sally Buzbee, the Post’s executive editor, did not respond to a request for comment.
“I just hope that my story can help put an end to this injustice,” said Atwords. “These puzzles are just too hard—I shouldn’t have to exert my brain this much. It’s time for a change.”