Senior year is even crazier than I originally imagined it would be.

I’ve heard the tales of college season in the hallways, secretive whispers about decisions, celebrations, and condolences filling the school with a pungent buzz.. I’ve seen my own siblings go through the college process, every drop of sweat and tears.

It’s a funny feeling, to put your entire academic career on just a few pages of paper. To be more accurate, a few textboxes on the online Common Application format. Every school day, every assignment, every extracurricular becomes just another fifty word limit.

It’s easy to start feeling just as disposable as the paper itself.

The truth is that the college process is grueling, and for good reason. Think of it as the first step to deciding what college is a good match for you. Although it is tedious and discouraging at times, nothing beats that shot of excitement when you hit the submit button, knowing that another college will soon review your application. It could be a doorway leading to a whole new life.

I experienced the complicated emotions of college decisions firsthand. The most important advice is to keep an open mind, since you never know for sure where you will end up. Just keep trusting that what is meant to be will eventually happen. At least, this is what I am reminding myself as I wait anxiously to hear back from colleges.

I still remember opening up the email from the college I applied to for early action, the anticipation as my cursor hovered over my future. Although I knew nothing I did at this moment could change the outcome, it still felt oddly superstitious.

Deferred.

I expected the initial crash of disappointment. It wasn’t rational, but it felt like a personal blow, like I hadn’t worked hard enough or achieved enough to be worthy of an acceptance.

These thoughts trickled through my mind briefly before my attention turned to new, unanticipated feeling: what I didn’t expect was the relief I felt.

When I was deferred from my initial top-choice college, it got me thinking about other possibilities. What if I stayed closer to home, in Philadelphia? What if I took a look at some schools in California? What if?

As I wait to hear back from colleges come late March, I am sure that it will be another rollercoaster. It will be another round of opening emails, seeing either “Congratulations!” or the words, “Thank you, but unfortunately…”

Either way, I feel confident that life has a plan for every one of us seniors. No matter where we end up, our happiness lies within our own hands. I am also confident that come decision day, I will get rejected to schools I thought were in the bag, and maybe even accepted to schools I thought were a long shot.

This is all a part of the process. Like they say, “Trust the process.”

At the end of the day, we are who we are, and no college decision can make or break our character.

Good luck to the rest of the Class of 2022!